spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
