bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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