Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yo dont text me then not text me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
