Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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