Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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