They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
someone owes me an orgasm
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
