I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
