So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
