Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The struggles of a small town man whore
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
