I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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