around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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