so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
