i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
