Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My nipple is on Facebook.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
