Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
