Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
