Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
