Your tits are I can't wait for
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same