It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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