I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
