high people should be assigned attendants
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
