It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
