it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
