bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
