i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
