I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just threw up on my dentist
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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