respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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