this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
