i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
