Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
