so explain again why im purple
no
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Everyone says I win the strip club
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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