i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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