So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
