you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
