but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
