i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
