why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
