i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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