He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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