Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
