Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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