How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sorry my hands just texted you
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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