Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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