i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
