well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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