he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
