I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
