Three words: puerto rican gang bang
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he shaved USA in his pubs
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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