Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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