Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
