you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
