i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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