Apparently you make a good broom.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
