My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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