drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my phone needs a breathalizer
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize