I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
