Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
