belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
