He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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