My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
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I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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