I wanna bring you to show and tell
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry my hands just texted you
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
