I just saw a hot homeless man
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
