Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
