Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
