She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Someone signed my nipple.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize