Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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